I'm pants shitting drunk right now
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
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