she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Randomize
