after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Randomize
