Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
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