i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
