And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
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