whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
i jhust puked up my retainher.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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