butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Its about making memories worth repressing
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I need to calm my uterus...
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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