then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
