new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
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