A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
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