remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
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