YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
