u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
