And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
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