Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
