I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
