he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Randomize
