I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
