just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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