Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
jump out the window naked night went bad
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
