You can't special order awesome
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Randomize
