I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
Randomize
