i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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