After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
there was a trapeze. enough said
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
