when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
