Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Randomize