Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
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