HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
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