brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
high people should be assigned attendants
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
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