is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
