Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Panties = found
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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