Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Randomize
