One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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