Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Randomize
