He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
