btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize
