it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Lo siento on account of my penis...
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize