Do you still have your period?
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I am one with the molecules
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Randomize
