I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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