Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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