We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Randomize
