You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Randomize
