We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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