he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Randomize
