I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Randomize
