he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Randomize