"it" just moved
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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