How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
I stole a fireplace last night.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
