Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
