Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Randomize
