Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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