Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
