I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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