Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
I looked at my own cervix.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
We need a shit load of segways right now
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
