I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Randomize
