Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize