Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
