so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Randomize
