i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Randomize