Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
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