don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
