and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
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