i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
You made out with two different species that night
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
